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“Your Jannah is under my feet”

Mothers’ place is special, warm, enlightened, kind. In this warmness there is some kind of power, that can become either invisible support or heavy burden, not giving you a chance to breathe in any freedom. Let’s sort it out – mothers’ manipulation or women’s dissatisfaction.

Your closest, your dearest person – she has also been young, shining, her eyes were sparkling, she had dreams, expectations, wishes. Then she got her own family, she loved her children very much and decided to devote her life to them, putting off her wishes, perhaps making a promise to come back to them later…

This is quite a casual life scenario that is brought up by millions of women, especially Muslim women.
As the most important people for a woman are her husband and her children, she has to make them satisfied. But the main thing is missing here – where is the woman herself?

Where is her development – spiritual, physical, intellectual? Why are we refusing our needs so easily? I don’t get tired of repeating this during our meetings, consultations:

don’t ignore “the oxygen mask rule”! Unless a woman doesn’t fill up herself, she wouldn’t be able to share as good with her family.

And results, you can imagine, occur to be not promising, one worse than another.

The most often is: ” If I give you, then you give me”. I sacrifiсed my life to you, and you are so ungrateful, you do not feel sorry for your mother who has brought you up, fed you, finally “Your Jannah is under my feet!” What do you think is hiding behind these words of a woman? Would a person who sincerely wishes Jannah for her child behave like this?

There is offence behind these words, and the offence is anger, and in this case, it is anger with her child: “I was expecting from you something completely different!”

So these grown-up people, maybe even having a good career, live their lives feeling very very guilty. Guilty for unnecessary, unsatisfying life of their mothers, and this guilt will influence both family and health for sure.

Guilt is a very toxic feeling, it is directly self-inflicted violence.

Did a child actually need it? Did he ask his mother for it? Did he want his mother to give up all her interests, to become offended at the whole world only for him? Or did he want a mother, who wouldn’t give up on herself, full of energy meeting him and being old telling him: “I am your mother, strong, maybe not physically, but I am your support, go ahead, my baby!” Who do you think can give attention and take care easier?

There is no guilt, everything is just as conceived by the Almighty, but everyone can make some reasons, beginning with himself. If you are a young mother, think about your personal life. If you are a grown-up child and you have a manipulating mother, firstly realize and believe that there is no guilt of yours in it. Give your mother her rights, your kindness, support, but don’t live her life. Everyone is responsible for their own pat

marriage and family