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INTERNATIONAL MARRIAGE: INCONVENIENT FACTS

This article as a part of my investigation is based on both personal and professional experience.
And I think we should study the problem of cross-cultural marriages (marriage of people of different nationalities) more than ever, especially in the context of Islam.

The aim of the whole investigation and this article, in particular, is to inform Muslim girls about possible difficulties they can face in cross-cultural marriages and about the ways to prevent some problems and disagreements before they occur!

And most importantly – to give an understanding that it is possible to make an effective alliance with a person from a different nationality, but you have to make much greater efforts in comparison to couples where both are of the same nationality.

30 couples of both cross-cultural (marriage between people of different nationalities) and mono national (marriage between people of one nationality) types of marriage took part in a study , in Russia in 2016. According to the results of this study, people are more satisfied with monocultural (Russian-Russian, Chechen-Chechen) families!

The primary problem in relationships between spouses from different cultural and national backgrounds is the process of perceiving another culture that consists of unique traditions, rules, customs. It would be a mistake to think these moments will go unnoticed.

Since this article is aimed at female audience, I will appeal directly to women.

Family ties, customs and traditions are important for the formation of the personality of any man. The importance of it increases with the man getting older. It is necessary for people of different nationalities to learn the traditions of each other as best as possible to be able to make a harmonious marriage. It is important to not set yourself against your partner’s world, but to become a part of it. 

The brightest example is: you speak Spanish on your French examination. You can have perfect pronunciation, ideal grammar and vivid narrative style…but you will not pass your French examination! Just as in marriage! Especially in international one! The ability to merge remaining yourself is extremely important in such an alliance! You need to learn to accept the rules, not to oppose yourself to them.

Knowing your partner in order to strengthen your relationship is crucial, especially in a cross-cultural marriage.

Same is for understanding that children in such marriages can have difficulties in self-determination (which culture do I belong to?). After all, both sides may not quite accept him.

Based on my personal and professional experience, here are the most common reasons for conflicts in international marriages, affecting cultural values:

⁃ Relationship with relatives
⁃ Language at home and with children
⁃ Raising children
⁃ Cooking
⁃ Traditions and customs of housekeeping and position of the daughter-in-law in the family

I don’t want to persuade you not to marry a person of different nationality by this article, but I draw your attention to the moments that can be of great importance during married life. Being aware of these factors and difficulties you will be ready to pass them with least losses for the family.

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